I love to plan and I’m really good at it!
I plan meals.
I plan trips to the store.
I plan vacations.
I plan my days.
I plan things at church.
I love to organize as well!
I organize the shelves in my pantry.
I organize the sheets (by size) in my closet.
Of course all of my family’s clothes are organized!
I organize all of my school supplies.
I have all my books organized.
People. (Ok, realistically it is mainly my children.)
As a mom, perfectionism is torture.
Having everything perfect is impossible with children. Any mom can tell you that. Whether you have one child or ten, perfectionism seems harder and harder to grasp. As we added each child I felt control slipping slowly through my fingers.
It finally occurred to me:
But I cannot afford to live that life
It always ends the same; a fight I never win
It’s time, time to let you go
I’m letting go of the illusion
I’m letting go of the confusion
I can’t carry it another step
I close my eyes and take a breath
I’m letting go, letting go
There were scars before my scars
Love written on the hands that hung the stars
Hope living in the blood that was spilled for me
Philippians 4:6-7 – “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
Peace is more than a feeling…it is a settled calm. I wanted that. I knew life was going to be crazy and messy. No one’s life is without complications.
I am learning to trust and rest in the fact that it isn’t my peace that holds me together: it is God’s peace. Jesus said in John 14:27 – “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
My life is still crazy. My kids still scream over everything. My house looks like a warehouse for broken toys and stacks of paper. My kitchen pantry is an explosion of opened cracker boxes and cans of cream of chicken soup. Please do NOT look in my junk drawers (yes, that’s plural).
I still love to organize and plan. I still use my meal-planning guide (found here). I keep recipes on Pinterest. My schedule for cleaning has loosened, although Mondays seem to be the best for laundry. My binder is sitting on a shelf in my pantry looking lonely. I haven’t opened it in months.
When perfectionism sometimes steals my peace, I must remember: