Adoption has always been God’s “Plan A.” Ephesians 1:5 says “He (The Father) predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will.” These stories are from those who have chosen adoption as “Plan A.”
Today Kasondra shares her family’s story….
Adoption. It was Plan A, but it wasn’t supposed to be like this. There I was with my insides shaking, doubled over, and bawling like a baby. It was dark: literally and figuratively. At 7:30 in the evening our agency caseworker pulled out with our two girls. She was taking them back to their original foster family and their biological siblings.
Desiree (almost 2) and Orianna (11 mos.). These two precious angels became ebony sunbeams to our family for six months. Nicholas (5) and Ian (18 mos.) connected with them instantly. It was if we had a set of triplets with a protective big brother to watch over them. The days were long and the nights were short, but God was always there guiding us. We experienced them morph from two frightened young girls into bold, rambunctious toddlers. Honestly, at the beginning of this experience, I was still unsure that I could love ‘strangers’ as much as my biological children. However, these two showed me that any fears we had about adoption were unfounded.
Our adoption journey began even before my husband and I were dating. As friends, we would sometimes share a dinner together. It was a typical weekday evening; my husband rambling on about some profound social issues while I half listened while wondering how I could have added more flavor to this chicken I baked.
“What was that?” I asked.
“Repeat what you just said”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Yes, about adoption”
“Well, it just seems like there are so many children that need families in this world.,” he replied.
It took a while for that to sink in. I had never really considered adoption. I mean…I had heard of it (my dad was adopted for heaven’s sake!), but for some reason I had never really thought about it. I naively thought adoption was only an option for couples not able to have kids biologically.
Well, we got married and time passed, but the idea never left me. However, I didn’t have anyone to talk to about adoption and wasn’t sure how to go about finding out more. I also assumed that I was too young to be an adoptive mother. So, in the meantime, our first two children came along, and I was so consumed with them, the idea of adoption was put on hold, but not forgotten.
Fast forward a couple years. We had recently moved which meant we met and were involved with a new group of people. Somehow (maybe, by fate), we met a few different families who had adopted or were in the process. One of these couples raved about the “Fostering Hope” conference held annually in Austin. Of course, we had to check it out.
Information overload. We were exposed to so much information that Saturday. Leaving, though, we knew two things for sure: we wanted to foster to adopt and we needed to find an agency. The process of finding an agency was interesting for sure. Summed up, the process was: google, call, leave voicemail and repeat. We finally got in touch with an awesome agency that promptly responded to all of the questions of a very inexperienced couple, and so the process began. For anyone that has been through this, let’s just say, it was a process, but very exciting when completed.
This brings us back to Desiree and Orianna. Originally, we told the agency that we only wanted to adopt, not foster, but we would help with respite care. One evening they called us to take in two girls for a weekend. Due to some unforeseen circumstances, that weekend turned into a six month long fostering adventure. A few things came out of this. 1. We confirmed we could (and would) grow to deeply love, as our own, children that were not biologically ours. 2. It was hard. 3. These kids are in broken situations, and it would be much better for that to be repaired, than for us to get our perfect dream of a child. 4. Our Plan A was still adoption for those children in scenarios that unfortunately couldn’t be restored.
So, we received a call the week before Christmas. Three siblings ages seven, four and four (twins). Honestly, we were a little apprehensive at first. It hadn’t been long since the gut-wrenching experience with Desiree and Orianna leaving. In many ways, we were still recuperating from that episode. The kids needed to leave their current foster family, but the agency wasn’t able to find anyone else who was able to help keep all of them together at that time. Three was more that we had planned for, but we knew our plan from the beginning was to help give kids the family they weren’t able to have otherwise. At that time Monica, Adrian, and Andrea joined our family. Although, it would still be six months until it was legal.
The adoption process went very smoothly, and, although there were some crazy times, the assimilation into our family did too. On July 8, 2015, our family grew by three, legally. Although we had planned for this since before we were married, we would have never imagined how it would have played out. It was a long, exciting journey filled with angst, excitement, fear, joy, sadness, but mostly love.
Monica, Nicholas, Adrian, Andrea, Ian, my husband and I have all grown together as a family. Most of the time I’m not even aware that they are adopted. We are a normal family. There are ups, and there are downs. It’s been a roller coaster of a journey, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Adoption. It was Plan A.
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