“Belong Day” …. “Gotcha Day” …. Although many families celebrate this day as a joyful and exciting day, our family has decided to postpone that day….(come back on March 19 for a real party!) For me, my husband, and our new daughter – this day is full of emotions. On the first anniversary of this day, I decided to write two letters. One to myself. The other is for my daughter.
My sweet Liana Joy. Forever March 9th will be etched inside my mind. Today – the good and bad – will always flood my mind with memories. Our God is faithful. Our God is good. It is the theme of this day. It was the theme of our adoption of you. It is hopefully the theme of your life. “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases: His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; GREAT is Your faithfulness.” (Lam. 2:22-23). May you always remember His mercies. His mercy to protect you while you grew in your birth-mother’s womb. His mercy as you were placed from one set of arms to another until you were placed into mine.
You were so bundled (four layers!). Your bib was soaked with drool, and your eyes held all of the fear locked inside. You were so afraid. You were so unsure of it all. Yet, we wept. Your daddy and I. We wept with tears of joy the moment we saw you. It was a glorious relief. The same relief I felt as each of the other three were born and the pregnancy was over. A joyful relief.
You were ours. It was a day filled with so many emotions. You weren’t the only one scared. Your momma, who had been a momma for seven years, felt like a new momma again. I was a new mother. I didn’t know how to comfort you. Or hold you. Or love you – yet.
As this year has passed, I’ve learned how to hold you. I’ve learned how to rock you. Sing to you. Love you. I’ve learned the kinds of foods you like. Currently it is Mac ‘n Cheese, rice, and bread. Oh my girl – you love your carbs! You are starting to get picky with food (which we are so happy about!) You love your milk with chocolate syrup. You have a favorite cup and favorite show. (Tinkerbell). You love to listen to music, especially Disney princess songs. And Jesus songs. You love the Jesus songs. We are working on “This Little Light Is Mine.” Let your light shine, my girl. Let it shine.
The Jesus we sing about at night before bed is the same Jesus who stood beside us on March 9th, 2015. He is the same Jesus who sung to you on the nights I couldn’t. He is the same Jesus who will faithfully pursue your heart until you are ready to accept Him as Savior. The same Jesus who held my heart every day this year.
My prayer for you, as we begin our second year with you, is that you see Jesus. You didn’t hear His name, but He was there. You didn’t know He loved you, but He does. I pray you will learn about Jesus this year. About His love. About His faithfulness. If you remember anything through your life, I pray you will remember:
His Steadfast Love
Because you are a living and breathing testament to His faithfulness. Your life is a reflection of how steadfast His love truly is. You are proof His mercies are new every morning. Every morning you smile at me and reach for me. It shows His mercy. And we love you so. I love you so, my dear.
A not-so-new Momma anymore.