As we walk the path of adoption, waiting becomes our theme. For paperwork. For governments. The weekends when everyone is off work and offices are closed, the hours drag by. I hope to provide some hope. Some light for your waiting….
Today Caitlin share her story….
We have become accustomed to having access to anything we desire at our fingertips. We can send and receive messages to and from our friends within minutes, instantly stream music, movies and TV shows and even find the answer to almost anything on Google. We can even receive free food at a fast food restaurant if our order takes more than a couple of minutes. Let’s face it, waiting has increasingly become more and more of an inconvenience to society. No matter what stage of life we are in, waiting always factors in somehow…as children, we excitedly wait for Christmas morning, for teenagers, waiting to turn 16 and get their driver’s license seems agonizing and many adults count down the days until vacation kicks off or a promotion is granted.
Waiting seems to have been a theme for my husband, Jason, and my life throughout the last several years. We will celebrate our 6th anniversary next month and have been dealing with fertility issues for about five years. We discussed adoption many times but one of us would be ready while they other wasn’t and vice versa. We always knew that adoption would be a part of our story, but we weren’t sure exactly what that would look like for our family until December of 2014.
We officially began the process last January by filling out tons and tons of paperwork. You really wouldn’t believe the amount! Often, we would fill out one application, mail it and then wait for a background check or approval before we could begin the next step. Eventually, the paperwork was complete and we were ready for our home study, contract paperwork and profile. After what seemed like FOREVER, we were finally active!! Then came the fun part…we were able to begin presenting our profiles to birth moms. We thought this would be the easiest part of waiting, but I think it’s actually the most nerve-racking. Sometimes it seemed like torture waiting to see if this would be the birth mom that chose us. However, we could rest in the fact that God had the right baby chosen for our family long ago!
Throughout the adoption process, God really began speaking to my heart about waiting. Honestly, I fought giving up control as hard as I could, hoping to speed up the process myself somehow. When I finally entrusted God with everything, I was overwhelmed with peace. Psalms 62:5-6 says:
“Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.”
I’ve read both verses so many times. Through our adoption journey and all of my impatience, it is finally sinking in. The whole process was a series of waiting, what seemed to be roadblocks and learning to let go of control. Giving up control is a major struggle for me…I’m the kind of person that puts an address in the GPS for places I go every day just to know exactly what time I will arrive.
When my heart is overwhelmed
and I cannot hear Your voice,
I’ll hold on to what is true, though I cannot see…
I’ll lift these hands in faith, I will believe.
Mountain high or valley low, I sing out to remind my soul
I am Yours, I am forever Yours.
After seeing countless situations, presenting to many birth mom and hearing several “no’s,” we finally received our “yes” at the beginning of October. A few weeks later, our daughter, Charleston Kate, was born in Utah. She was definitely worth the wait!! It is amazing to look back and see how God orchestrated each and every detail perfectly. Charleston is now 5 months old and full of personality! She brings so much love, joy and laughter into our home. Once she turns 6 months old, we will be able to finalize the adoption in court.
As we struggled with waiting during this journey, we were constantly reminded of God’s grace and His completely perfect plan. What I had been looking at through frustrated, confused and impatient eyes, I eventually saw as ways for God to be glorified in all aspects. We see so many examples of this throughout the Bible. The name of the Lord is made known through the periods of waiting, crazy circumstances and things way beyond our understanding. Whatever you are waiting for, whether it be big or small, trust in His amazing plan and perfect timing. Lamentations 3:26 says:
“So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord.”
You can read more about our adoption journey at BringingHomeDBaby.blogspot.com
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