What do you do when you feel like you can’t?
Can’t get it all done.
Can’t discipline consistently.
Can’t get that stupid laundry completely done.
Can’t make dinner on time (or without burning it).
With Mother’s Day next week I feel like I’m looking a little more closely at my mothering (or lack there of). I think the most guilt I feel is related to being a mom. I feel guilty for choices I made as a young college student. I feel guilty for things I said when I was mad at my husband.
The guilt I have on Mother’s Day feels so much stronger. My little family always plans such much sweetness for that day, I can’t help but feel that little voice….
you can’t do this.
The guilt never spoke so loud one night when it all went wrong. I’m talking: the dog goes to the bathroom in our sunroom, the kids track mud onto my freshly mopped kitchen floor, the cat throws up under the dining room table, the laundry is in piles all over my house, and dinner is ruined (again). Not to mentioned, my husband is late and we need to get out the door so we can make it to gymnastics.
Motherhood is hard enough, but when the voice of guilt starts whisper to our hearts, it seems our days feel like utter and complete failures. I’m alway believing I can’t.
I can’t tame my tongue.
I can’t remember to switch the laundry.
I can’t keep on top of the dishes.
I can’t fix dinner.
I can’t keep the house straightened up.
I really began believing I can’t and I always thought I just needed to just get my act together and just DO IT. I mean, I needed to be better organized, or kind, or get up earlier. None of things helped me believe I could be better.
Until I realized:
I believe I can’t, so He did.
God wanted me here, in the middle of my mess to say: I can’t! He waits for me to throw up my hands and cry out to Him (and to everyone else): I can’t do this!
And there, in the middle of sticky floors and dirty dishes I realized I didn’t have to do it, He would. Yes, I had work to do, but this was part of the tension of resting and working. Resting is rooted in believing. Do I believe God can work out an seemingly impossible situation?
Do I believe God will, when I can’t?
So I let things go. I realize its ok to feel like I can’t do it – it cause me to hit my knees is desperation and pour out my heart to God, asking Him to meet me here. So I here I am. Pouring out my guilty, my sadness, my feelings of failure….I lay them at the feet of Jesus. I hand them over. And allow Him to work.
Let God do it, momma. Don’t feel guilty for all of the “can’t’s” – smile in your heart knowing God can.