Part 3 of a 4 Part Series entitled The God Who Knows
The God Who Knows My Past
Before 2015, I really thought I was the one writing my story. I knew that God was leading, but I was really the one planning where I wanted to go. In the course of ten years I had graduated college, married, quit my job teaching, and was a busy home-school mom of three little ones, all under four years old. When our youngest turned one we knew we weren’t finished having children. God directed our hearts toward adoption and we began the process. Fifteen months later we were on a plane to China! It was March of 2015.
All the unknowns would end as soon as I held her, right? The adoption chapter in my life would come to a neat, tidy end. I cried tears of joy and relief as they handed over this little girl, all bundled up. We sat down in the corner of the civil affairs office in Zhengzhou, China to look at her. My husband and I didn’t say much. We continued to look at her. We tried to get her to sit in our laps, but her body was limp. She had no strength. Her head was not straight. Her eyes would not focus on our faces. She fussed and whined. We fed her a snack.
She slept in her crib without a peep that first night. And I cried. What was God doing with my story, and my heart? Did He know we would face medical needs like this?
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them. Psalm 139:15-16
Suddenly I was thrust into the daily. I no longer looked at God through the lens of a big God in the heavens. He was here, in the messy moments. And through it all, I realized He was still writing my story. When God formed me in my mother’s womb, He know all of the pieces of my story even then. My past I known by the loving Creator God.
I cannot look at my story as a whole book or even a chapter. My story is made up of moments. In those moments are tiny pieces of grace. So God is saying: I’ve written all of the grace moments. I’ve written all of the hard moments, and your story isn’t over yet.
Friend. You’re still here. And your story isn’t over. God has written every part. From the moment you were conceived until now and until the last breath, God knows you. Intimately closely, and He is still writing.
God is faithful, no matter how God is writing your story. No matter the past. No matter the future. Today the promises of scripture tell us that our God is faithful.
“Therefore know that the Lord your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments;” Deuteronomy 7:9 “
Lord, God, the one writing my story. I confess I’ve wondered why all of the plot twists, but looking back on your past faithfulness allows me to trust you for the future. I see You in my past and it gives me comfort for today. Amen.
For more like this, check out my Summer of Psalms for Busy Moms: A 40 Day Summer Reading Plan.
I see you mom, in your PJs, feeling guilty because you haven’t showered in two days.
I see you mom, rushing to work wishing you were the one taking the kids to the pool.
I see you mom, hurrying around and feeling the sadness of losing yourself in the summer busy schedules focused on the kids.
You feel like you have NO time for yourself, let alone God!
Do you struggle with finding time to read the Bible during the summer?
Is your summer Bible study routine mismatched and disjointed?
Do you lack focus and direction in Bible reading, especially in the summer?
Check out my brand new 40-day reading plan. In this plan you will be able to read the Psalm, write your prayers and journal your thoughts and answer reflection questions all in one place! ALL OF THIS CAN BE DONE IN 10 MINUTES!
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