When I Heard God Whisper Community
The hotel was the same as before. It stood tall and regal, filled to the brim with women from all walks of life. I walked into the lobby. Setting my luggage down, I exhaled and got in line to check in. Two-hundred sixty-four miles I had traveled. For some reason, my GPS decided to take me down a different path than the past two years.
The little app on my phone directed off of the interstate and onto some back roads. I was a little nervous. And for a moment this directionally challenged girl felt lost. I called my husband, asked him to verify the hotel’s address. Even with the knowledge I was on the right road, I looked around and didn’t recognize anything.
Instead of worrying, or pulling over, or asking for directions, I tried to trust my GPS and enjoy the scenery. It wasn’t the first time I had been lost, figuratively speaking. A couple of years ago I lost myself in grief, fear, and anxiety. I didn’t trust my God or enjoy much of what was going on around me. Maybe I was learning the lesson again, so I looked out my window on that July day to just gaze.
I saw the blue skies, the white clouds, and the green fields. I saw the cutest little farm houses and even miniature ponies, all the while feeling lost. I have to admit, if I wasn’t so caught up in my directions, or if I was on the right road, I might have enjoyed it even more.
Driving down to Charlotte to She Speaks last week allowed me time alone with God in the car for four straight hours. Before I left, I grabbed some “old” music – such as Amy Grant, 4Him, and Bebo Norman. The songs of my high school and college years took me back. Listening to them again, as a momma of five with the pressures of adulthood, gave a different perspective. The lines below suddenly came flooding back by Bebo Norman:
I want a crumb, but you are a feast
I want a song, but you are a symphony
I want a star, but your a galaxy…
Take my life from me, It’s the only hope for me.
When you have had nothing, to see God in the midst of your mess, the feast, symphony and galaxy are real things. The hope I have for my life can never compare to what He has for me. Then the song by Andrew Peterson played:
You can see the roads that we all traveled just to get here
A million minuscule decisions in a line
Why they brought us to this moment isn’t clear
But that’s all right, we’ve got all night….
Finally, God wanted me to make sure I knew the lesson, and I found Nichole Norman’s newest song, Every Mile Matters. You see, our family has some BIG things happening, and the road is very unclear and unseen. Right now I don’t know the road we will be on. In fact, I think I’ll start to feel a little lost and confused along the way.
So God says, Trust Me. The roads, no matter the turns or decisions, will lead you to where you belong. God is in the million little choices. He is in charge. He is in the steps. He is in the mess.
So I asked the Lord for a new word at She Speaks, before I even got there. I was open, and hesitant. Would He speak to me again, as He had before? Would I like the answer or prodding?
The answers are YES. He spoke. I listened. And message He spoke to my heart will change some things around here on my online space, it might be a little uncomfortable for me, it might require something of YOU (reader-friend).
The beginning of community whispered through each meeting, each encounter, almost all of the speakers. Community over counting. God is calling me to step back into the community around me. It means to stop counting the number of page views, subscribers, and followers. It means to begin building a community for YOU (and me) to help build us closer to Christ.
Connection over creativity. The biggest “whisper” or rather the shout, was from a main session. The speaker said: “If you want to change the kingdom, go home and love your church.” Ouch. It hurt – but in a good way. A gentle rebuke from a loving Father reminded me to be present for those in my present life. Stepping back in church is hard. We’ve been absent the past few months with being in China and adjusting to life with our little guy.
I’ve been creating new products, challenges, and printable for you and I love it! But I’ve spent less time with my in-real-life-friends.
It isn’t an excuse, just the facts. I don’t yet know how step back into my church. I will serve, but recently I’ve realized emotionally I’m not there. Physically, yes, but spiritually I’ve stepped back and I want to step back in.
I don’t always like to share posts like this…when I feel like I’m still figuring stuff out. I hope you will continue to work through the whispers God is telling you. I pray you will walk the unknown roads, enjoy a little of the scenery, and maybe stepping back into community is for you too.
I don’t regret the time I’ve spent creating this year. I’ve seen the choices God has used for His glory. It is time I step back into connecting again.
Connect with me!
Is this you?
- I am so overwhelmed and stressed by the people around me.
- How do I feel the peace God promises in the middle of extreme heartache?
- Thoughts about the future cause extreme fear.
- Feelings of anxiety are underlying my heart, and no one sees it.
Some days I wrote long, detailed prayers, other days I simply wrote: “help me.” But before I knew it, I had a habit. Prayer became more than words on a page, and many times I would spend time praying in my mind, not writing anything down. Those prayers found its way to the Father, Who is always listening.
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