Why Waiting is Never Wasted
Today begins a week of waiting. I remember feeling this way the first time around with our adoption of Liana. I was hoping I could avoid this type of stressful waiting the 2nd time around. Alas, here I am again. We will be waiting for a phone call all week. I know it won’t happen today. Today is when the adoption agency gets our letter saying we want to be matched with a certain little boy.
A boy I found on the waiting child list. A boy who did not have the special needs we were open to, but somehow I asked about him. I inquired about him. At sixteen months old the only picture I had was one from four months ago. It showed him standing, which gave me hope.
We opened his initial file and….nothing. There was so little information we had no clue at all what to do. We prayed and sat on his almost empty file until we decided to ask questions. We could submit questions to the orphanage (for a fee) and try and get a glimpse into his progress and see if he would be a good fit for our family.
We didn’t have a lot of hope. His special need was SCARY on a piece of paper. I avoided googling it, but with a doctor husband, I found out the worst case scenarios anyway. We wanted for answers and were told they would come in a couple of weeks. At the two week mark we heard nothing. The three week mark came and went.
By the time we had been waiting for four weeks, I had almost forgotten about it. I had convinced myself that this special need was probably too scary and too much for us. We already had a daughter who needed a ton of therapy. We figured we had requested the questions so someone else would see his file and say yes to him.
Only. We said yes to him. The medical terms and the scary surgery and unknowns all disappeared the moment I opened the video from the orphanage. I was smitten. My husband saw it first. He texted me: “There’s a video, just WAIT until you see it!!!!” My husband read to me the answers to the questions over the phone because I was in the middle of mothering and our internet was out, so I couldn’t get online and see it.
From his desk at work, we realized we wanted to say yes. Within just a few minutes we knew. We didn’t even want to think about it. We knew. After I got off of the phone with Jason, I picked up my cell phone and searched for his picture on our adoption agency’s portal.
There it was. The picture I really shouldn’t haven’t seen, because my heart couldn’t handle it. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t guard my heart against the feelings. His face. The eyes and cheeks. The chubby fingers and smooched nose. I was in love.
I couldn’t help it. I needed to send his picture to someone else. I text my mom and then a friend. That was Friday. Today is Monday. It only took a weekend to fall in love with his face and know what I wanted.
We wait this week. We sent our letter of request to be matched on Saturday morning. It will be checked today. But two other families are looking at his file. Two other families submitted questions. Two other families have waited just as long as we have for a match.
So here I am. On this Monday morning, hoping and praying they say no to him. But why would they? He is perfect. But if they do say yes, I pray we are chosen. We will know by Wednesday if they say yes and probably Friday if we are chosen or not.
So begins the longest week ever. I need so many prayers this week. Oh, and coffee!
Waiting patiently is not something we want when trouble, bitterness, storms, darkness, and hidden growth are in our lives. Yet many times God calls for us to wait. In Joseph’s life, although he did was right and walked with God, God blessed him – but did NOT take him out of the circumstances he was in. Joseph was still forgotten for two years, in prison. Forgotten by everyone, but God.
Our waiting is never wasted. God’s sovereignty is sweet. Jesus calls us into a life of abiding, and it never burdening. Our steps are planned out. Ordered by the God of Creation. I will fall. I will mess up, sometimes I will choose to be bitter, anxious, worry, and anger. Other times I will choose the right path. When I fall, I will be picked up again. The same hands which reached down to the woman caught in adultery are reaching for me. The same hands which held the moon on the fourth day of creation will hold me. The same hands which made the blind man see, will enlighten my heart to the next step. Let me trust.
Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord! Psalm 27:14